Leap Year

Someone asked me at church last Sunday how old I was. Without hesitation I said 24. I was so embarrassed when I had to correct myself and say, "actually no, that's wrong...I'm turning 28 at the end of this month". We both got a good laugh out of it.

I don't particularly like birthdays. I haven't enjoyed them since I ran out of all the "fun" ones. For me those have included...

• 10- I was so excited to get into the double digits. It felt "older".
• 13- Finally a teenager!
• 16- Duh...DRIVERS LICENSE!
• 18- I became an "adult"... what's not to get excited about?
  
• 20- So excited to be out of my teens!
  
• 21-Need I even explain?
• 22- Somewhere along the way I got it in my head that I was going to get married at the age of 22...and sure enough I was engaged and planning my wedding.
  

My 23rd birthday was when it all went down hill. Nothing particularly bad happened, but that's when it finally occurred to me that I had no more birthdays to look forward to. Yes, I realize anyone reading this is probably rolling their eyes right about now...but it really did hit me hard. Since then, I don't particularly like thinking about the fact that I'm getting older. My family and friends really do go out of their way to make me feel extra special on my birthday, which I really do appreciate, but I always hate the next day when I officially have to start saying that I'm one year older. This year it's 28...which is just weird to me since I obviously still think I'm 24.

Thankfully, there is one redeeming factor about this birthday. I actually have one! Being that I was born on leap year (February 29th), I only get a birthday once every four years. In case you don't know why we even have "leap year", I'll explain it. Leap year is necessary to keep our calendar accurate. It technically takes the earth 365.242199 days to orbit the sun once (one year), yet our calendar only has 365 days. So without adding the extra day every 4 years, we would lose 6 hours a year. That may not seem like such a big deal, but after about 100 years, our calendar would be off by 24 days. Interesting huh?

The first question everyone always asks as soon as they find out I'm a Leap Year baby is: So when do you celebrate when there's no 29th?

• I've always liked celebrating on the 28th because it's still in February which is "my" month. But I'll be honest, I've gotten in the habit of celebrating on the 28th and the 1st :)

Second questions is always: So how old are you really?

• Well...this year I'm turning 7!

Most people will comment something like, "it must be so weird to not have a birthday every year". Ha! It's actually not that bad. When I actually do have a birthday, it typically results in a "extra special" celebration, which means I can honestly say I'm able to remember every "actual" birthday I've ever had in detail...besides birth of course.

So here I am again, about to have a birthday... I'll try and ignore the fact that I'm only two year away from 30 and make it another memorable birthday...

Here's to turning 7!!

I'm The Favorite

A little over 13 years ago I became an aunt. I remember how strange it was for me the first time I met Serai as a newborn. She was so beautiful, and although she was still a stranger to me, she somehow perfectly belonged in the family. I lived in a different city at the time, so I didn't get to see her as often as I would have liked. We would always have to get through a 10 minute "get to know eachother again" phase when she came to visit, but after that...she was mine. Elly didn't see much of her while I was around. I was in love. After Serai came Marek, Silas, and Ariya, and I have loved each one of them more than they will ever realize. It used to irritated me when people would say, "just wait until you have your own kids". I just wanted to yell, "I DO love them like my own!!". I would ache to see them if multiple days went by without me getting to hold them, and I would secretly jump for joy when people said Ariya looked just like me and could be mine.
Two years ago I became a mom, and that baby girl helped put things in perspective. I get it...I now understand why people say, "just wait until you have your own kids". I still maintain that I love my nieces and nephews as much as my own kids. I was right about that. But yes, there is a difference. No matter how strong the love of an aunt is, that love just isn't reciprocated. At the end of the day, they will always prefer their own mommy. That's one of the things that makes being a mom so special. Kids want their mommies when they're sick, when they want to be held, when they are getting tucked into bed or waking up in the middle of the night scared (or just thirsty), and when they are just so happy that they want to give random hugs...I love that I now play that role in the lives of my two sweet kiddos.

I realize my kids will need me less and less as they get older, and probably won't fully understand how much I love them until they have kids of their own, but for now I'm relishing the fact that I'm their favorite. Being a mom is hard sometimes. It can be physically exhausting as well as mentally draining. It sometimes feels like I live in a constant emotional whirlwind of mourning the passing of phases, enjoying the present, and anticipating the future. Most days I breath a sigh of relief once the days is done and they are tucked in bed, yet I go to bed and can't wait until tomorrow when I can be their mom all over again.

As much as I love my nieces and nephews, it no longer upsets me if they stretch out their arms for their mom when I'm holding them, want to go home after spending the day with me, or don't want to sit with me during church. I get it. They don't just love her, they need her. She's their favorite.